Communication Skills: Language, nonverbal, listening

      For this exercise I watched the show "Dance Moms."  It's not something that I ordinarily watch but being a dance mom myself for years, I figured it would be happy, exciting, and show wonderful bonding between parents and children.  Well I can't say it was totally what I expected.....
      The first time I observed the show, the dance teacher, Abbey Lee, looked very unhappy most of the show whether it was in communication with the children or the parents.  Her facial expressions were disgruntled, angry, and even intimidating at some times.  You definitely knew that she was in charge!  As I watched the show further, I observed the mothers talking to each other and there was very few smiles or laughter.  One mother whom I later learned was named " Holly" used hand movements and gestures as if to try to explain things to someone or be understanding.  It was harder then I thought to read everyone without sound but she seems sympathetic and kind.  There was also a few moms that just seemed dis-concerned with facial expressions that really did not change that much.  "Melissa"  who just looked like she was on the defense by how she held her arms close to herself and barely made contact with others, almost as if the other parents were talking to the side of her face.  And then there another mother in tears, this did not seem like a happy place. 
     As I observed the children, none of them really smiled.  They looked as though this was not fun at all but almost worried that they would mess something up and by observing the dance teacher waving her arms with mouth wide open and pointing her finger, it looked like their thoughts were accurate.  Even at the competition and for the bus ride the children and parents were not happy and laughing, nor was the dance teacher.
      As I observed the show for a second time, this time with the sound on, I soon realized that my first assumptions of the characters was accurate.  The disgruntled look on Abbey's face for most of the show along with the raised arms and pointed fingers was very informative on how her overall attitude was.  Her use of insulting, rude, and disrespectful comments to the children and parents reconfirmed the climate surrounding the students where they seem worried or concerned to mess up.  This use of profanity, words and or expressions seemingly rude and insulting, (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012)  gave the emotional impact that she wanted to have the children be completely focused on winning at dance competitions and nothing else. When the children spoke to each other, it was just to confirm what they needed to do on the dance floor, focusing only on the issue at hand as if it was a workplace environment.  (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012)  Abby's use of accenting, or emphasizing her verbal information with hand gestures and pointing, (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012) definitely confirmed her position of authority.  As for the mothers communication I observed, Holly is an educator and my first premonition about her was right.  She was trying to be expressive, kind, and caring.  The others like Melissa just gave me this feeling of isolation and unfriendliness, with or without words.
      I think watching a show that I knew well would have made this exercise easier in the respect that you get to get more of  a background on a person's personality rather then just a one time observation.  Maybe this dance teacher shows great empathy skills and is kind to her dancers and this was just a bad day or maybe the moms are great friends but this was a high pressure week for the team.  I guess I will never know unless I continue watching but overall not the happy show that I thought it would be!

References

"Dance Moms"  Lifetime network, 9 pm on Tuesdays

O'Hair D., & Wiemann, M. (2012).  Real communication:  An introduction.  New York: Bedford/St. Martin's