Who Am I as a Communicator

     For this week's assignment, we were asked to evaluate ourselves as a communicator as well as have two others evaluate us as well.  This exercise allowed me to self-reflect on not only how I behaved in situations but how others viewed my behavior as well as my ability to listen to what others had to say.  I was surprised by some of the results and it has helped me to reflect on areas in which my communication abilities can be improved.  What I found in the "Communication Anxiety Inventory," (Rubin et al., 2009) was that although I do feel anxious in some situations, it is not obvious to everyone around me.  This was a relief because I do tend to get nervous in some situations but not in all communication but there are areas I do need some work.  In the "Verbal Aggressiveness Scale," (Rubin et al., 2009), I evaluated myself much harder then how others see me, significant to be exact.  What a relief to find out that the two individuals that evaluated me do not see me that way and that even though I may be thinking something, I am hesitant to say it!  In the " Listening Styles Profile," (Rubin et al., 2009), I fell into the people-orientated group each time which just reconfirms that I am too trusting of others, which I am always being told.  But what do we have in the world without faith and trust in one another?  I know it sounds naïve but it is that blind faith that allows me to go into communications with others without judgment.
       The insights that I learned about communication this week is that I have to have more self-esteem and confidence in what I am saying and not be so afraid to speak up.  I also learned that I let my emotional side get the best of my listening abilities.  This is not a terrible thing when relating to families and children but it may cause me to miss important details that will be beneficial in helping children and families.  The thing that surprised me the most was that I did not seem more anxious or nervous when speaking amongst a group of people.  Giving a presentation in my old job was one thing but joining in on conversation with a group of people that could essentially criticize everything I have to say or believing that others would really want to listen to me is another!  I will really have to work on this.  Overall, this exercise taught me things about myself I never knew.

 

Rubin, R.B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H.E. (Eds.) (2009).  Communication research measures: A sourcebook: New York: Routledge

Rubin, R.B., A.M. Graham, E.E., Perse, E.M., & Selbold, D.R. (Eds.) (2009).  Communication research measures II: A sourcebook: New York: Routledge.

 

Communication and Culture

     Culture is all around us whether it be the choices of television programs, the media, the internet, the radio or even in our everyday life.  I think that we have just become so accustomed to the diversity all around us that we may not even realize that it influences how we behave, interact with others and communicate both verbally and nonverbally.  Even something that we may see as simple as eye contact with another individual can mean different things to different cultures.  (Gonzalenz-Mena, 2010)  But the question is are we really aware that we are behaving differently with people of differing culture ?  Research suggests that when we communicate with others of different cultural background than our own, we tend to share less information.  (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011) 
     After reflecting upon my own behavior, I found that I do communicate differently with different groups.  A perfect example is when I am within the school community.  My children attend a modest size Catholic school and the families and the teachers are very personable and often show kindness in conversation by standing closer, touching your arm or shoulder, making eye contact, and sharing information about family.  In contrast to this, when I would be among collegues in my last profession,  most individuals kept their distance, some did not make eye contact, and there was definitely no human contact or in most cases sharing little or no personal information. This was a professional community or work place environment so I did understand the differences in behavior.  I did find some variation between different cultures though, the scientist from Poland would often say hello with a hug and the one from France would kiss on the cheek and always talk about his little ones. I felt in these cases their cultures did influence their behaviors.
      In essence, I do feel that our culture and upbringing influences how we see the world and how we behave with different individuals in different situations.  Three strategies that I would use to help me communicate more effectively is first to educate yourself about an individual or families cultural background in attempts to not only offend or alienate them but to build strong relationships.  Second I would observe not only the individuals but the environment and adjust my interactions to be appropriate for that situation.  And third I would use politically correct language, stay clear of profanity, stereotypes & labels, as well as words and expressions that may be rude or disrespectful. (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012)  In order to be competent communicators, we must communicate in a way that is appropriate for the situation, and continually evaluate and assess our own behavior.  (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012)

References

 





Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S.J., & Redmond, M.V. (2011).  Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.) Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

 

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010).  50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families.  Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson-Education, Inc.

 

O'Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2012).  Real communication: An introduction.  New York: Bedford/St. Martin's

Communication Skills: Language, nonverbal, listening

      For this exercise I watched the show "Dance Moms."  It's not something that I ordinarily watch but being a dance mom myself for years, I figured it would be happy, exciting, and show wonderful bonding between parents and children.  Well I can't say it was totally what I expected.....
      The first time I observed the show, the dance teacher, Abbey Lee, looked very unhappy most of the show whether it was in communication with the children or the parents.  Her facial expressions were disgruntled, angry, and even intimidating at some times.  You definitely knew that she was in charge!  As I watched the show further, I observed the mothers talking to each other and there was very few smiles or laughter.  One mother whom I later learned was named " Holly" used hand movements and gestures as if to try to explain things to someone or be understanding.  It was harder then I thought to read everyone without sound but she seems sympathetic and kind.  There was also a few moms that just seemed dis-concerned with facial expressions that really did not change that much.  "Melissa"  who just looked like she was on the defense by how she held her arms close to herself and barely made contact with others, almost as if the other parents were talking to the side of her face.  And then there another mother in tears, this did not seem like a happy place. 
     As I observed the children, none of them really smiled.  They looked as though this was not fun at all but almost worried that they would mess something up and by observing the dance teacher waving her arms with mouth wide open and pointing her finger, it looked like their thoughts were accurate.  Even at the competition and for the bus ride the children and parents were not happy and laughing, nor was the dance teacher.
      As I observed the show for a second time, this time with the sound on, I soon realized that my first assumptions of the characters was accurate.  The disgruntled look on Abbey's face for most of the show along with the raised arms and pointed fingers was very informative on how her overall attitude was.  Her use of insulting, rude, and disrespectful comments to the children and parents reconfirmed the climate surrounding the students where they seem worried or concerned to mess up.  This use of profanity, words and or expressions seemingly rude and insulting, (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012)  gave the emotional impact that she wanted to have the children be completely focused on winning at dance competitions and nothing else. When the children spoke to each other, it was just to confirm what they needed to do on the dance floor, focusing only on the issue at hand as if it was a workplace environment.  (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012)  Abby's use of accenting, or emphasizing her verbal information with hand gestures and pointing, (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012) definitely confirmed her position of authority.  As for the mothers communication I observed, Holly is an educator and my first premonition about her was right.  She was trying to be expressive, kind, and caring.  The others like Melissa just gave me this feeling of isolation and unfriendliness, with or without words.
      I think watching a show that I knew well would have made this exercise easier in the respect that you get to get more of  a background on a person's personality rather then just a one time observation.  Maybe this dance teacher shows great empathy skills and is kind to her dancers and this was just a bad day or maybe the moms are great friends but this was a high pressure week for the team.  I guess I will never know unless I continue watching but overall not the happy show that I thought it would be!

References

"Dance Moms"  Lifetime network, 9 pm on Tuesdays

O'Hair D., & Wiemann, M. (2012).  Real communication:  An introduction.  New York: Bedford/St. Martin's

Competent Communication

If I had to chose one person whom I admire for their communication skills, it would be my children's school principle Mrs. Jackson.  I say this for many reasons.  My children attend a Catholic school of about 200 students, the families and community are very close which we absolutely love for our children.  Mrs. Jackson sends out notices over emails all the time and it is strange but she has a way of addressing the needs of all the families but on a personal level where you can understand how it pertains to just your children.  When you visit the school, she always greats you by name and makes you feel welcome.  This is actually her first year at this school and she has made it her priority to get to know all of the individual families and the children.  When I review the NAEYC's Code of Ethical Conduct, I cannot find any ideals that she does not follow but there are certainly ones that she has mastered.
I 2.2 " To develop relationships of mutual trust and create partnerships with the families we serve." (NAEYC, 2005)
I 2.3 " To welcome all family members and encourage them to participate in the program." (NAEYC, 2005)
I 1.12 " To work with families to provide a safe and smooth transition as children and families move from one program to the next." (NAEYC, 2005)

These are three that just really embrace the level of communication that she exhibits.  We trust that she will do the best for our children.  She is always encouraging parents and other family members to participate in the program and in many cases grandparents are a huge part of the programs.  And when it was time for our oldest to apply to high school, she handled the applications and sent them out with the teacher recommendations personally to make sure all of the students information made it on time.  This was something I did not expect.  Many times in education as parents we feel like we are alone in the process, it is truly a blessing when educators make extra efforts to remind us that we are all in this together.  As an educator, I strive to my best to be honest, caring, trusted and respected, all characteristics that she embraces.  It is my hope that I will have the same impact on my families that she has on us, her communication behaviors are definitely a model to strive towards.

Reference

National Association for the Education of Young Children.  (2005, April).  NAEYC code of ethical conduct and statement of commitment.  Retrieved from http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/positions/PSETH05.pdf